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Black Box

by Papa Sleep

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1.
Black Box 02:09
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[CHORUS]x2 Black box Black box Suffering from all these black thoughts I been drowning in a black box [VERSE] I'm a late 80s coke dream Lately I been living in a smoke screen Sleepwalking on the wrong planet Dissociated now I'm always in a state of panic Either that or sertraline Had no options Air taste like bitter tangerines Uppers downers doesnt matter if you're down and out they carve the strikes into the skin and watch you suffer from afar [CHORUS]x2 Black box Black box Suffering from all these black thoughts I been drowning in a black box [VERSE] Judgement day imma wake up at the bar Overslept missed the first 20 years of my life Everything flash in the single blink of an eye until I'm blind Down a pint and stumble home to an empty void Rather just forget the way that things have been Tell me "focus on the future" but I'm tethered to the past Hold me down and hold me back until I'm drowning on regrets I think I finally hit the surface but I'm waking up in cold sweats
2.
17x24 02:34
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[CHORUS]x4 All eyes on me everybody watching I cant really see them I can only feel them [VERSE] Wake up feeling dread every morning No friends no job They dont wanna hear my sob story Flip the channel watch them pull black shrouds out my head I dont care when I end up dead just where I end up next Goverment plants wanna add me to they annex Throwing twigs in my burning nest Twitch when I overthink Always had the feeling that I'm being watched with no lip sync Ears glued to all the cracks in the wall Fear induced when I stare down the hall It was never like this And I hoped it wouldn't be Parents disappointed Why shouldn't they I can tell that I'm fucking losing it Fucking sick of it Always listening Tell me why I cant live in peace when all I hear is whispering [CHORUS]x4 All eyes on me everybody watching I cant really see them I can only feel them [OUTRO] Empty empty empty all the cupboards Searching searching tryna find the cameras Empty empty empty out the home Searching searching tryna find the microphones Empty empty empty out my closet Searching searching tryna find the source of gossip Cant believe I cant find a thing But I swear to God that they're listening
3.
Disassemble 02:10
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[VERSE] Nothing left Taking what you want but I got nothing left to give Everydays a gift I cant return it Lost recipets Scrolling past your feed Cherish all our memories we had it all but had to let it free Read you like a book but I'm dyslexic People come and go People change I get it Time is infinite but I cant find someone just to spend it with Leave it all behind, the good and the bad stuff I had enough of it [BRIDGE] Always moving on Always looking back Never looking forward Waiting for the day I finally crash [OUTRO] Way too hot to go outside Way too cold to stay inside You just left me standing in the rain In this black box everything just stays the same Waiting for the night I finally run away
4.
Happy Hour at the International Despair Foundation 03:37
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about

I feel like this is a good conclusion to this current chapter of my life / career, especially since today is my 21st birthday. Black Box is a reflection of all the mental suffering I've been dealing with all throughout the year; the feeling of drowning, intense paranoia, the destruction of very personal relationships and the light at the end of the tunnel of all this inner turmoil. Things have gotten much better since the creation of this project and I hope they will get even better but I feel its still worth releasing as I plan on no longer making music like this.

I am no longer the angry and upset individual I have portrayed myself through my music for the last three years. Black Box is my send off on the past and a glimpse of a more hopeful future for myself.

Thank you all for listening and supporting me this year as I went through this tough journey, your love means everything to me. Special thanks to Esthetic Gloom for helping me craft this project by sending me beats almost every single week for the last five months, I couldn't be where I am now without this man's endless support for me. I hope the future is brighter from now on as you all join me for the next steps I am about to take, till then, enjoy this little project as a thanks I guess.

- Papa Sleep

credits

released October 29, 2020

Production by Esthetic Gloom
Noise/Ambient Sections & Art by Papa Sleep
Mixing/Mastering by nAvvvi
Special thanks to Mercenaries, Dead on Sight, Abyssal Sounds & Bxrmuda

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Saint Sleep Toronto, Ontario

I'm completely normal I swear.

Old songs are listed as Papa Sleep & Sleep Spiritual.

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